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Welcome to the Transforming Rage Retreat. This page provides details on what to expect and how to prepare. Sit back, take a few deep breaths, and enjoy this read. It is important that you are fully informed so that you leverage your time and reap the highest gain from this experience. I look forward to seeing you. Ruth King

About Rage…

Rage is an oppressed child emotion housed deep within our bodies. She is alive whether we acknowledge her or not. She is a child of foreign status often experienced as an enemy to be eliminated. She has lived most of her life hinged in the dark unreachable regions of our spine, hiding to survive. Because we live in bodies and societies that suppress her, there are few places where the rage child can express her truth without consequence. As a result, she has ways that she gets even in hopes of getting our attention. She rebels and acts out by going underground and finding ways to express herself. Sometimes her expression is positive and creative but often it is negative and shame invoking.

For example, your rage child may have crawled into your upper body and now crowds your heart with her swollen belly, tight fists and bulging eyes. When she screams, your heart tighten and your breath becomes shallow. Your rage child may befoul your food, cause digestion problems, sponsor cancerous growths, or breakdown your immune system. Perhaps you feel rage in the face of loss, birth, unexpected change, lingering sadness, recurring dreams, disturbing encounters, or illness. You may have a history of being phobic, depressed or fatigued. You may attempt to silence rage with drugs or other numbing substances or distractions, or project and disown rage through aggression, blame, and abuse toward others or yourself. And at this time in your life, you may be seeking to understand an aspect of yourself that you are ashamed of or frightened by, or afraid or bewildered by the rage that is all around you, and seek ways to turn within for refuge. Whatever the reason, the fierce truth of rage is calling you to take a courageous step towards greater self-awareness, inner peace, and liberation.

The Basic Assumptions…

The basic assumption of the Transforming Rage retreat is that unresolved rage from childhood trauma is still locked in our bodies and mind. This blocked energy manifests as disguises of rage in our adult lives, ways we cope with life while denying an intimate experience with living. While these disguises of rage attempt to protect us from the pain of our past, they more often recreate the past, and perpetuate the very suffering we seek to avoid. These disguises become such an ingrained part of our existence that we forget its origins are rage. Each of us embodies a rage inheritance from our parents and ancestors that presents itself as an opportunity to transform personal and generational suffering. Unresolved, rage is passed on from one generation to the next, contributing to rage legacies that collectively plague the world.

Our rage child is not the problem. She is simply a child emotion lost deep inside of our bodies fighting for her [and our] life! The problem is our denial of her existence, disrespect of her power, and disregard of her contribution to our healing. We distract ourselves from our rage child because it is not safe to see, feel or express her, yet our fear of rage negatively impacts the integrity of our lives.

After hearing the stories of hundreds of women in counseling and retreats, I developed Celebration of Rage, recently changed to Transforming Rage–a sacred space to nurture and evolve the rage child. Transforming Rage provides an introspective journey that helps us dignify rage. We explore rage as a sacred energy and reveal the inseparable links rage has with trauma, shame, creativity, intimacy, and healing. Ultimately, we transform how we experience freedom, peace, power and truth within our bodies and our lives.

What we learn…

In the Transforming Rage retreat, we learn how to become deeply knowledgeable about the true character of our rage and discover that rage can be both an obstacle as well as a portal to spiritual awakening. We learn how to put rage in sacred perspective, and understand the role we play in perpetuating our own madness. We stop struggling with ourselves and explore the messages rage offers. We deal directly with those aspects of ourselves that are unwanted, and learn how to feed ourselves when our soul is starving. We acknowledge rage as intolerable pain and shame–something we all embody and avoid to no avail. And we cultivate an intimate relationship with our rage child and find new and creative ways to integrate–not eliminate–rage in our lives. More profoundly, we discover that we are more than what has happened to us, and that we can embrace rage and rest in our own skin. We welcome our rage child into a broader range of passionate life possibilities. This honoring allows us to celebrate who we are as vibrant human beings and embrace the rage of others without judgment. Nancy Lupa, body worker, shares,

“For many years I searched for an integrated way to work through the rage I held inside me. In the Celebration of Rage retreat, I was supported lovingly and without judgment in the complete expression of my emotions and experienced healing of my past.”

Roots of Rage: The retreat process begins before we arrive with the decision to attend. This decision represents a commitment to a new and positive exploration of rage. You may be asked to complete a questionnaire to help you reconstruct your rage memoirs and recognize your rage inheritance–the ways in which you carry rage out of an unconscious loyalty to your parents and ancestors. The questionnaire, reviewed by Ruth King prior to the retreat, supports the design of the retreat and marks the beginning of a new relationship with rage.

Embracing the Family of Rage: The retreat experience allows you to embrace the family of rage by acknowledging her birth mother, trauma; her Twin, shame; her residence, our bodies; and her oppressor, fear. You honor your disguises of rage as magical children that you aborted returning to you and demanding your kind attention. In your acceptance of them, you discover how they represent what is sacred, denied, forgotten, and even possible. As you embrace them, you open to your power and your truth, and you take responsibility for your healing.

The Wisdom of Rage: An importance aspect of the retreat is experiencing the union of body and mind. This transformation requires that you befriend rage and glean its wisdom. You become more honest, and get “up close and personal” with yourself, celebrating the many ways you have survived. Through play, art, movement, poetry, and ritual, you reduce fears that block the wisdom of rage–clarity and creativity that hides behind rage. Our work is not intended to eliminate rage but rather to honor rage as a wise truth-teller worthy of playing a critical role in your healing.

Brain Power: Brain and mindfulness research reveals that our disguises of rage are concentrated in the emotional center (limbic region) of the brain, and how the practice of mindfulness meditation develops the middle prefrontal cortex of our brain allowing us to tolerate the process of liberation. In this retreat, we learn simply mindfulness meditation techniques that provide body and mind relaxation and emotional freedom.

Rage & Hurt: It is more acceptable in American culture for women to become hurt in the face of rage instead of outraged. Hurt can actually divert us from the full and legitimate experiences of rage. The reverse is also true. Many of us may become enraged to avoid experiencing how hurt we are. Rage and hurt are housed in different parts of the body, require different forms of release, and reveal different aspects of the same story. The retreat allows us to understand these subtle differences in our bodies and experiment with them without apology or consequence.

Rage & Shame: Rage and shame are twin emotions. When we are healing rage, we are exposing ourselves to shame–things we swore never to reveal or feel. Throughout the retreat, it is common to experience the Rage/Shame Duo–where our experiences of rage will trigger experiences of shame, which in turn will trigger experiences of rage. This is common and good and necessary. Much support is offered throughout the retreat to honor these twin emotions and glean their wisdom.

Body & Mind: Of key significance is that of being rage versus talking about rage. Rage is an experience of mind and body. Returning to our bodies is a healing journey in itself, and our mind does not always want to cooperate. Most of us have powerful minds. We know how to change our mind and our behavior in order to survive. Surviving, however, is not transforming, and changing is not healing. We must get into our body if we are to transform rage. We minimize the distraction and temptation to intellectualize when a full embodiment of rage is required for the rage child to heal and serve us. We provide a sacred space to unite our mind with our body. This vibrant marriage helps us to fall in love with and marry our intellectual understanding of rage with our somatic experience of rage. In this blessed union, we cultivate sacred ground to heal and celebrate our rage.

Dream World: Because we are ashamed of our rage child, it is difficult to get around our disgrace for allowing her to be seen and felt. We unconsciously fear punishment, judgment, and disdain from others and ourselves when we express our true selves. This shame commonly shows itself in our dream world. Within the retreat, our dreams are treated as truth symbols from our ancestors and spirit world. Through dream ritual and exploration, we tap this sacred well and transition these unconscious gifts to consciousness, examining relevance to both dreamer and collective community.

Vibrational Medicine: As is true is most of our retreats, sound plays a significant role in healing. We use music to enliven and extend your energetic field, to wake up memory, break through emotional congestion, and to open you to experiences of vast spaciousness–space we explore and you learn to rest in. Come prepared to be warmed and informed by music, and to dance like nobody’s watching!

Percept Orientation: A different language is required to keep our rage child at home in our bodies once we acknowledge her presence. In our retreat, we use Percept Orientation, a Gestalt based-language originated by Joyce and John Weir. In Percept Language, I look at myself and know that my perceptions are formed by how I take data in (my senses) and how my physiology and my experience influence my filtering of the data. I have a unique database that I use to form my perceptions and I am responsible for what I see, the conclusions I draw and the decisions I make. This empowering language supports our understanding of our deepest wisdom, options and choices.

Diversions: The rage child requires special attention and sacred space. While attending the Transforming Rage retreat, we are asked to reframe from distractions. These include interruptions, over verbalization, taking care of other people, use of alcohol or drug, over eating, excessive sugar, and sexual activity. These are typically ways we hide from our rage child and silence or deny her presence. By refraining from these actions we are able to “stay home” and reclaim our bodies as sacred temples and prepare a safe environment for the rage child to flourish.

Fight, Flight or Shrink: This work typically triggers the emotions of flight–escaping, fight–aggressing, and/or shrink–collapsing. We flight when we become numb and leave our bodies mentally and emotionally to avoid feeling vulnerable or we pretend to be participating when we are silently resisting. We fight when we verbalize our resistance and we use our defenses to avoid being hurt or humiliated. We shrink when we become ill or find it to difficult emotionally to do the work or feel the work we are doing. These tendencies are predictable experiences that we welcome within the Transforming Rage retreat. We allow them because they are real–how our rage child reveals herself when we dare expose her. We encourage you to notice experiences with loving, non-judgmental eyes as we support you in experiencing what these disguises block.

Sacred Space & Offerings: Two altars provide a sacred foundation of holding as we move through this work: An ancestor altar and a rage altar. The Ancestor Altar holds items you bring (and can take back home with you) that honors your past. They should include images, items and/or pictures of those on the other side and white, non-drip candles (in tall glass jars). The Rage Child altar represents the wisdom you are moving toward and should include items, images, etc., that are full of vibrancy, radiance, peaceful clarity, and joy. Please do not purchase items for the altar. Rather bring items you own that have meaning.

Healing Ritual: Customized retreats may include the design of individual healing rituals. Within this option of the retreat, our rage child symbolically “stands” by our side and helps us “rewrite” our own histories. Through the design of personal healing rituals, using African indigenous wisdom and Family Constellation methodology, we experience an alternative to our traumatic pain patterns. The original trauma is no longer our only recollection. Psychological and scientific studies suggest that experiencing more compassionate experiences in place of traumatic experiences can literally “repattern” our memory bank of emotions and behaviors.

From Scarcity to Abundance: The retreat experience moves on many parallel journeys. We transform metaphorically from being in the rage wound to being in the rage womb. We experience these two distinct journeys through meditation, breath, sound and movement. In the wound we re-member the many stories and experiences that frame and limit our creative expression. We work with our bodies, our breath, and our voices using music to elevate our vibration. Our rage dance is lead by the rage child herself and our collective intention is to understand and heal. Through a series of physical releases and healing rituals we welcome the rage child and celebrate her survival, her power, and her contribution to our healing. We experience our helplessness and hopelessness, injustice and despair, and discharge the energies of the legitimate rage child. By the end of our time together, we begin to experience the rage womb. The womb allows us to celebrate the space and light that we have created within our mind and body. This naturally begins to happen when we discharge the negative weight of rage. Through co-created ritual, the womb allows for our rebirth, reminding us of our ability to choose and respond versus react or worst, overreact, to our environment and to ourselves. We name our rage child and relocate her home in our body. The womb serves to validate that the rage child is intimate with our sensuality, power and passion.

Staying Power

Physically, you will be highly active during this retreat in dance, walking, and sitting on the floor for extended periods of time. Bring what ever comforts you need to endure these requirements. If you require physical support, contact us in advance so that we can determine how we meet your needs.

Emotionally, you need to be willing to give up comfort in exchange for more consciousness and self-insight. This is not a retreat that will focus on the specific crises in your life. Rather, in this retreat you are asked to self-reflect; to shift into a space of exploring your experiences as opposed to being overwhelmed by them. Keep in mind that while you may desire to participate in this retreat, it may not be appropriate. If you are in acute crisis, this retreat may not be your best first step. If you have questions, contact me for individual coaching.

Spiritually, this retreat invites you to embody your beliefs–regardless of what they are. Many of us hold strong beliefs about life. These beliefs often differ from our day to day actions and our felt experiences. When the energies of rage are honorably engaged, we align mind and body and become more awake to our inner truth. Be prepared to explore and clarify within yourself the meaning of truth.

Mentally, you need to be willing to be vulnerable and supported; to experiment with new approaches, or try old approaches in new ways. Given that our group size is typically small (from 8- 12), you need to be willing to be seen and to see, and to take responsibility for your own experiences. This is not an encounter group where we are engaging each other’s triggers. Instead, when you are triggered, you are invited to turn your attention inward and work directly with the intense luminosity of your own experience.

What to bring…

• A bandana
• Fabric and jewelry to decorate your mask
• Items for the ancestor altar (images, symbols, etc. that represent members of your family lineage that have passed away (The ancestor altar is only for ancestors. Do not bring pictures that combine ancestors with those of the living).
• Items for your intention altar (images, symbols, pictures of your purity, innocence, and powerful and wise self).
• Dress comfortable for movement, dance, and sitting on the floor.
• Other items of support that will support your comfort (see details on the retreat location to determine weather, etc.).

What others are saying…

Participants are amazed to discover the power available to them when they move closer to rage and claim this energy as a respected member of their emotional family. Many share that they have:

• More access to passion, creativity and service.
• Ability to take control of your life.
• More loving interactions with others.
• More easily able to forgive.
• Less need to judge others or myself harshly.
• Less attachment to outcomes.
• Less demands on intimate relationships.
• Enhanced confidence to overcome fear, shame and anger.
• More kindness towards what life offers; less need to change what is.
• Less mental, emotional, and physical disease.
• More intimacy, joy, and happiness.

“The retreat was a wondrous experience of love, safety, and intimacy. I was afraid of my rage and Ruth wasn’t. I learned rage is a wonderful part of my being and I needed to know that. Sense attending the retreat there has been an amazing amount of positive change in my life.” Kathy Lehman, Ohio