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Wise Talk Blog

Welcome to our New Wise Talk Blog!

These posts are intended to enhance happiness and wisdom. I will post and moderate this blog and may invite like-minded folks to also share wisdom stories. I will not be posting regularly. These are more spontaneous thoughts and reflections, and tools that just might unclog a coagulated heart. I invite you to comment on how the writings touch you. While we welcome your comments, keep in mind that you may not receive a reply from me or other authors. This has more to do with our schedules than anything else.

For your privacy, we will not use your email for any reason. If you would like to receive notices of upcoming events and other newsworthy information, sign up for my eNews and we'll keep you posted. If you would prefer a more personal discussion with me, consider coaching and we'll focus on your specific concerns.

Enjoy! I'm so happy you dropped by!

Ruth King

10 Ways to Avoid Holiday Rage

Some of us greet the holidays with grand anticipation while others feel utter dread. At a minimum, we feel a bit of both. Whether we like it or not, chances are, throughout the holidays, you are likely to be around more family than usual. Family can trigger us like no one or nothing else. Why? Because we love them! And, because we love them, they can touch us deeply. Sometimes this touch is warm and welcoming. We can relax because we are seen and we can be ourselves.

Other times it’s harming, even enraging, and our thoughts and feelings tie us up in knots. The good news is that we can avoid holiday rage by taking responsibility for how we feel and move closer to an experience of joy, which is the point of this magical time. Consider the following my gifts to you during the holiday season, and let me know how it goes. Continued…

March 9, 2010
10:35 pm

Celebration of Rage Retreat Chat Room

This blog is for those courageous spirits who attended the Celebration of Rage retreat, October 29 – November 1, 2009, at Hope Springs Institute. We had a fabulously fun time together and many of you requested a simple way to stay in touch. So, use this blog to share insights, appreciations, what’s wacky and wild, and how you are living true to your Legacy Slogans. Hugs, Ruth

Sister Circle Chat Room

Please post your insights, comments and questions that arise inbetween our online Sister Circle sessions, and feel free to comment on each other’s posts. Please note, I will not be commenting on posts but I will track your questions and comments, and will respond in our live sessions. Enjoy! Ruth

Practitioners Waking Up to Disguises of Rage

We live in a society where there are many good reasons to be enraged, yet as practitioners of health and healing, we are often uncomfortable in the face of rage-our own and that of others. In our fear we may add to the problem by becoming frustrated, self-righteous, defensive, frozen, or indifferent. In these forms, we are unable to intervene with our clients or ourselves skillfully and may even utilize our power to punish those who express rage, especially if it is directed toward us.

I’ve found in my work with practitioners that the antidote to our discomfort with rage and other intense emotions is in cultivating self awareness, where we nurture a sound mind, moral consciousness, humility, and an ambition that leaves a good legacy. This requires an inner inquiry that becomes the foundation of human service.

By doing our own healing around rage, we recognize the more subtle Disguises of RageTM in our clients-Dominance, Defiance, Devotion, Distraction, Dependence, and Depression. We know from our own experience that when we are in the face of a raging client that rage is not the deepest truth that wants to be told. The deeper truth is more a disguised request to stand in the fire and not be frightened by the wrathful display of raw radiance. Your confident stance allows for a deeper investigation of emotional pain and wise action.

As practitioners and leaders, when we can accept personal rage and tap its wisdom-Discernment, Truth from the Heart, Compassion, Creative Freedom, Originality, and Solitude, we ripen our ability to allow transformation in our client work while also dignifying the humanness of those who are suffering. This I call HUMAN services!

Leave a comment! Consider:

  • What happens to you when someone becomes enraged?
  • How aware are you of your internalized rage and its impact on the services you provide?
  • In what ways do you perpetuate the oppression of rage?
  • How does rage affect your personal relationships?

The Constriction of my Convictions

I was having a heated disagreement with my partner and in the thick of it, I realized how silly and inadequate words can be, not to mention ineffectual. In fact, when I stepped back and witnessed my dynamic, I recognized that I have sang this song for what feels like my entire life, if not eons, way before I met her. This common song has a “name that tune” recognition. Anyone who gets close to my heart is likely to not only name this tune but, if I’m lucky, predict when it will play and stay away.

In that moment, it rang true in me that words would not and could not scratch the unnerving and unreachable itch I was experiencing, and my thoughts weren’t helping either. For example, as the conversation became more intense, I thought: I need space! With more intensity I thought: I want to get as far away from her as possible. With even more intensity I thought: Who needs this! I’m done! This is over! I’m moving back to California. It seemed that talking and thinking were moving me further away from what was real and the connection I so desired. If talking about it doesn’t help, and thinking about it doesn’t help, where does this leave me? Well, the short answer is: With myself! So back to the meditation cushion I go. Continued…

Got Rage? Of Course You Do! And It’s Wise!

Women have good reason to be enraged yet we tend to be the last ones to acknowledge this vibrant inner resource. Instead, we go through our lives maintaining a good front. We may have all of the trappings—good life, higher education, and material gain, yet we have an inherent discontent with our lives that won’t go away. We manage to look okay from the outside, hiding those periods of despair when we feel everything caving in on us by keeping to ourselves. We express confidence on the surface and feel dread or fear underneath. We know we feel chaotic and on the edge, but we hide it, sometimes beautifully, even from ourselves. This is accomplished by wearing Disguises of Rage™. Continued…

Love Is All There Is!

I’m overwhelmed–knee deep in a deadline for a Celebrating of Rage retreat. At that very moment, the telephone rings. It’s my mother. I scream, “I’m so angry I could kill.” Not a very wise comment from an emotional wisdom expert, right? My mother replies, “Girl, you ought ta come out here and climb in my bed so I can rub your head.” I pull the phone from my ear, staring at it in shock of this “unlike my mother” moment. My mom is brilliant, independent, and wise, but I wouldn’t characterize her as intimate or nurturing. Deeply touched and greedy for more, I put the telephone back to my ear and say, “I’ll be on the next flight.” I’m off to catch the one hour flight from SF to LA.

There she was at the airport, glowing with simple dignity, wearing a wide proud grin like Maya Angeluo. We enjoy a flavorful meal of fried catfish, yams, greens, and cornbread which she has proudly prepared. I eat like a starved thief and begin to feel tired and proceed to climb into her old, rickety bed with poor back support feeling more comfortable and loved than ever, as I sob for no apparent reason as she rubs my head. No words were spoken. No words needed to be spoken. I fall into a deep, peaceful sleep-the kind of sleep that only the scent of your mother’s bed provides. Continued…